Why do women seem so attracted to married men?
Is it something that the married man is doing that generates this attraction, or is it more about what is going on inside a woman’s head?
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The truth is that it is a little bit of both. With a little conscious awareness and some practice in calibration you will be able to replicate this dynamic while not having to be married in the first place. In other words, you will be able to taste the fruits of attracting these women.
If you have ever been in an exclusive relationship, I am sure that you will have experienced this phenomenon. You feel as though women are giving you signals all of the time. If only you weren’t out with your girlfriend you would have no trouble meeting and taking home a new woman.
I felt like this for three and a half years in my first real long term relationship. When I eventually built up the courage to break up with my girlfriend, who clearly wasn’t the right fit for me, I felt sure that I was going to find myself knee deep in pussy. I was getting signals from all types of women. Even the women that I met at parties that knew I had a girlfriend would throw themselves at me.
Sadly, though, after I had broken up with her, this attention seemed to dissipate and I was again scratching my head as to what women wanted. What is it about women who want married men, or men that are already spoken for? Why do they throw themselves at you when you are in a relationship, but not when you aren’t? There are a handful of reasons why women like married men.
Number one is pre-selection.
In a famous study that researched what and how women perceive a man’s attractiveness, women were shown photos of particular men and then asked to rate them on their level of attractiveness. These same photos of men were shown to a different set of women, only this time in the background there was another female in the picture with the guy.
In all cases the photo of men with other women around them actually rated significantly higher in how attractive a man was perceived to be. The reason for this is because it demonstrates that a man is pre-selected. Essentially it is a vote of confidence from other women. If you already have women in your life, you must be a man worth chasing after.
The great thing about this is that you don’t have to walk around with a supermodel on your arm or a wedding ring on your finger. Just become a pro at telling stories about the women in your life. I will give you a word of caution here.
You want to be careful to not go over the top about this or be too blatant about it. You don’t want her to get a sense that you are trying too hard to talk about how popular you are with other women. She will actually lose interest and find you less attractive. Women are not interested in braggarts.
Number two is non-neediness.
The second factor that women find attractive about married men or men in an exclusive relationship is that they have a non-needy vibe about them. They don’t reek of desperation when they start a conversation with a woman.
This is something that I have noticed with coaching guys who haven’t had sex for a long time, or haven’t had sex at all. The second that they get a positive response from a woman they start to become a bit needy. They immediately start thinking, “maybe this girl is the one”. This neediness is not a positive social cue. Women are not attracted to needy men.
When a women spots this, she gets the sense that you are not someone who is having a lot of sex. If you are not having a lot of sex, then there is probably a reason why. I think the biggest factor in helping guys to eliminate neediness is to change your focus for the night. Instead of going out and focusing on getting laid, focus on going out and having a blast and having one of the best nights of your life.
When this is your focus, you will be relaxed and actually giving value to the woman instead of thinking about what you can get from her. What women want is want they can’t have. The grass is always greener on the other side and is not gender specific.
We all have a tendency to want what we can’t have. When a challenge or an obstacle pops up in front of us, as long as we don’t perceive the challenge as being too big, we have an inclination to want to overcome this challenge.
This is one of the things that go on in a deep psychological level for women when they meet a married man. They know that they shouldn’t have him. They understand that they can’t have him. On another level they are driven to see if they can.
The best way that you can replicate this is to just be more of a challenge when you are meeting women. Most guys, when they meet a woman, and particularly if she is attractive, become completely sold on her. As a result, they are willing to tolerate poor behavior, lack of attention, and generally being treated poorly.
Number three is to be interested but not sold.
It is okay to be interested in a woman because you are physically attracted to her, or she displays other qualities that you want to reward, but it is critical that you are not completely sold on her. This does two things.
It allows you to have a better conversation with her and start building rapport, but it also allows you to qualify her, which is critically important. She wants to know that she has actually won you over. She wants to be made to work for it a little bit.
I am sure that you will recognize from your own life, nobody values things that come too easy to them. This is certainly true for women who are looking to be won over by a high value man. Women like challenges, which is what makes dating a married man so attractive. Learn to be that challenge, married or not, and you’ll have the same advantage that married men have.