How important is it to know out about your girlfriend’s past?
If you are dating someone new, and the curiosity is killing you, maybe you should think first before you push for answers. You might not like what you find out.
Is it really important to know about a girlfriend’s past? I mean, do you really need to know what went on before you came into the picture? Well, that’s really dependent on you and how you handle life, because knowledge is not necessarily a good thing in this situation. What you should be concentrating on is the here and now; because that’s all that matters in all situations, not just the past life of your girlfriend.
The past is the past, and many times it should simply stay there. In life we all have demons and skeletons in our closets. It’s all history at this point, and nothing can be done to undo anything. Bringing it up and battling over it serves no purpose whatsoever. The ghost of your girlfriends past may just come back to haunt you.
Weigh the pros and cons of knowing her past, and whether that knowledge will do more harm than good.
The only positive reason that I can think of in wanting to know about her past is that it could possibly bring insight into her level of commitment and whether she has been faithful in her past relationships. She may be someone who isn’t capable of being faithful or is afraid of commitment.
Knowing about past relationship problems could give you insight of where this relationship with her will go. If history has anything to do with it, and her history is poor, then this relationship could fall by the wayside as well. If you are only into short-term relationships, then go for it. But if you desire one that has the potential for something more endearing, then she is probably not the girl for you.
Knowing about her sexual history may be more than you can handle.
Generally, for a lot of guys, a girl’s sexual history can be very intimidating. Especially if the girl has been around more than the guy. Guys might feel a bit intimidated, or feel like his girlfriend was in some ways a slut or cheap and easy. And, really, if your girlfriend was sexually liberated and enjoyed sex, it really shouldn’t be a problem.
The problem is more about you, and the way that you deal with it. If you have those issues then it’s probably not wise on your part to know about her past sexual encounters or past boyfriends. If you let doubt creep in, then the relationship will be doomed because you will soon become one of those jealous boyfriends no girl wants to deal with.
I generally wouldn’t bring it up in the initial stages of your relationship. I’d probably want to find out about it a bit later on, if I did want to find out about it at all. Most likely I’d probably really rather not know. I’m also sure that the same goes for her, she probably doesn’t want to know about your past either.
The moral of this story is to really think about answers that you’d rather not know.
Before you go asking your new girlfriend questions about her past, you need to question your motive of “needing to know”, before you know more than you can handle and deal with. Some things are better left in the past, and this may be one of those things that are better left unsaid. To know or not to know a new girlfriend’s past is something guys all seem curious about, but in reality, knowing the answers may do more harm than good.
You can explore more in depth advice about relationship problems, issues, and general dating advice from Pandora’s Box.